What I've learned ....

During the time after my father passed, I told my sister I could write a book on what NOT to say to someone who's parent has died. Thing is, I've been guilty of saying everything I heard, but when you hear it 1567 times, it just gets ... well, old.

- He's in a better place (yes, I know)
- He's not suffering anymore (yes, I know)
- Well, he's fought it for so long - you had so much time to prepare (yes ... but you are still NEVER prepared).

Our situation was so very different. Dad was given 8 weeks and he died 5 days later. Quite honestly, it was a very difficult death - the 2 days he was in hospice. His body was so used to fighting that it didn't know how NOT to fight. Seeing your Daddy, the man who would do anything for you, protect you, fight for you, encourage you, and love you -- seeing that man weighing 120something lbs (less than me and he was 6ft tall) and like clockwork, every 15 minutes, sit up and beg for help. It was heart wrenching and I honestly pray you never have to see your parent go through that and for those of you that have, I hate that we are part of that 'club'. I could go the REST of my life never seeing that again and I would give anything to erase that memory from my head, but that's life and it is what it is and it's changed me. I'm more tolerant, I guess.

I never really took things for granted, but now, if something is important to me, I make it a priority. For instance, I had a friend in town from Lousiana. The ONLY time we could get together was for breakfast on a day that I didn't have to be at work until 11:00. I got up at 5:30 in the morning and drove to meet her for breakfast because I love her and haven't seen her in 13 yrs. I don't know when I will see her again and it was important to me to see her, so it was WORTH it. We had a wonderful time and I was so thankful to be able to spend a few hours with her.

Another thing I learned is you will be SHOCKED who will be there for you and who will not be there for you. People that I would never have expected to do anything for me were doing more than I ever imagined .... and well, you know the rest. It's ok - people are busy. I get it.

I also learned that it's ok to LAUGH! OH MY GOODNESS, my brother, sister and I have bonded so incredibly more over this whole thing. When Dad was in the hospice, we made a pact "All for One, One for All" -- and if one went to Wendy's, we all went. The 3 of us didn't leave each other's side for nearly 4 days. It is something beautiful that has come out of something so devastating -- we were close before, but now we are just so. close. I can't explain it.

Now is the quiet. It's been a little over 8 weeks and last week was probably the worst so far. I miss my Dad. A lot. I was driving home Sat night and saw a shooting star and I said out loud "HEY DAD!" -- corny, I know, but I immediately thought of him.

Please don't think this post is sad -- it's really not. I'm not sad about my Dad's death. I'm sad he's gone, but I know he was in SO much pain, every day was difficult for him. I'm sad about the way he died and although I wish for just one more day with him, I wouldn't have him back for nothing -- to live another day in pain and suffering. On Easter Sunday, I celebrated knowing I would see my Dad again -- I know I have that promise.

You've made it this far and I appreciate you hanging in there! I promise not all my blog posts will be like this - actually I don't plan on blogging on my Dad's death again (for a while at least). I've got SO much to talk about, blog about, etc etc etc. Thanks for hanging in there with me!

New Digs

SO ... I knew the first thing I needed to do if I was jumping back into blogging was get a little facelift! I contacted my IRL friend, Danielle over at Just Dandy! I gave her free reign and wanted SIMPLE.....I think she did a GREAT job and love my clean, new look!!

Hop on over and visit Just Dandy ~ you'll love what you see!

Here Comes the Sun....

What do you do when you spend the day at a gorgeous Florida beach, slather up with sunscreen - and STILL GET BURNED??! You rummage through your BFFs cabinets until you find something to take away the BURN!

Actually, first my kids came downstairs and I snatched them up because they smelled like a fresh peeled orange. OH my .... they smelled SO good (and I mean really, doesn't your child always smell good after a fresh bath ...) but anyway, I went on the search for whateveritwas they had gotten into and discovered this gem:

Seriously -- go now to your closest W@l-Mart and buy stock. This will be your summer lotion. I actually looked at Shawn in a panic and said 'WHAT IF THEY DON'T HAVE THIS IN GEORGIA?" because that would be my luck. Shawn, being the sweet person she is, offered to let me take her nearly brand new (almost now half empty because of me and my kids) bottle of lotion with me, just in case. I knew I had a few more days in Florida and was planning on making a stop at W@l-Mart anyway --- and this was on my LIST!

When I got there -- I tripped up on this lotion called Ever-Glow. It's a gradual self-tanner that SMELLS JUST LIKE THE ALOE LOTION!! AND IT WORKS!! I switched to this and would use the Aloe lotion and then layer the Ever Glow on top. Perfection.

and guess what?? $4 .... yes. $4 for each bottle of lotion.

I know, RIGHT??

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Taking a break....

No...not from blogging! The kids and I headed to Tampa on Saturday to have a mini vacation during Spring Break. Nothing extravagant, just hanging out with friends, swimming, beach and a surprise trip to Disney {thanks to our sweet friend, Kali, the kids were so surprised and we had a GREAT time}.

We arrived Saturday, with a 'um, we're 2 hrs away ...but I know you were expecting us much later, but I was excited and we're almost there!' phone call to my BFF Shawn. The kids swam and I tried not to fall asleep standing up.

Had a great dinner Monday night w/some of my best girls - but that is a post in itself.

Today is our last 'official' day here. We are spending the day hanging out poolside w/one of my dear friends. The weather appears to be gorgeous as I see the sun peeking through the blinds!

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Where I've been.....

So I really thought I was about to jump back in to blogging....but God had other ideas. January & February were busy. Trip to New Orleans for wedding and see my best girls, business trip to Dallas, quick trip to Tampa to visit a friend in what we were sure were her final days ....and sadly, dealing with my Father's passing. Towards the middle of February, my Dad was still not feeling well and on Feb 17th, while he was in the hospital, his oncologist gave us the news we have been dreading for 8 yrs. There are no further treatment options. We will set you up with hospice and keep you comfortable. The dr said we had anywhere from 8 days to 8 weeks. God blessed us with 5 more beautiful days with Dad until, as my Mom said at Dad's service, Jesus slipped in quietly at 2:30 pm on 2/23 and performed the miracle only He can do, and took my Dad home.

The day and a half we were in the hospice facility were clearly the best and worst of my life. I don't know that I can fully put in writing how I felt - but I know it sucked. Watching my Dad go through 'actively dying' as our nurse put it was, not going to lie, horrible and agonizing. I wouldn't trade it for anything though. My Mom is the strongest, most incredibly amazing woman I know. She never left Dad's side and my brother, sister and I would rotate in on the couch that was in Dad's room. There are so many precious and sweet memories I have from those days as well - and I'll keep them forever. Not a single day goes by that I don't think about my Dad and I miss him so much.

Dad's service was unreal. I could not believe the people that showed up! We had lots of friends and family come to spend a beautiful day with us - we actually had the service on Dad's 65th birthday! Mom, my sister, my brother and I did Dad's service. It's what he would've wanted and I know, without a doubt, he would have loved it and LOVED seeing all the people that came to honor him. We showed an awesome video slideshow and my brother pointed out in his eulogy that in every picture of Dad with his grandchildren, he has cancer. He also pointed out that Dad NEVER complained of being sick - ever.

Now is the quiet - when people quit checking on you, talking about it and get on with life. I have not grieved....well, properly. I took only the rest of the week off from work the week he died and was back at work on Monday - ready to close out the month. I am blessed with an amazing team of coworkers that help keep me occupied and great friends that make sure we stay busy. I also have an upcoming trip to Tampa to visit friends and RELAX - key word: relax and I am aiming for it to be as stress-free as possible. I have become a bit unbearable at home at times and I'm sure some time away with the kids is just what we all need!

Today marks one month since my Dad's passing. We take every day for what it is. My family is stronger than ever. I talk to my Mom every.single.day. It is good for both of us {I think}. I never really took things for granted, but now even the smallest things hold more signifigance.

**Edited to add: I was supposed to post this 3/23 - but couldn't quite finish it.

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SnOMG 2011

On Sunday, Jan 9 - we got a warning that SEVERE weather was coming our way. Now, I was hoping and praying that it wasn't really coming, but well, this time the weatherman was CORRECT! It started snowing around 6:30 and didn't stop until early that morning. At one point I heard thunder and our local weatherman tweeted "Yes, you may hear thunder! It's called Thundersnow" - which I thought was pretty neat!



We woke up to this - now - my friends that read this blog that live up North. I am SURE you are rolling your eyes. Really. However, the wonderful state of GA was equipped with 8 snowplows/salt trucks.

EIGHT trucks

Population: 5 million

Yeah, do the math. Needless to say, our state was deemed a state of emergency and we were told to STAY HOME. I work in the auto industry and needless to say, we were closed as well. For 3 solid days.



Watching the news got depressing. They showed clip after clip of highways shut down, people stuck in their cars on 285, people stuck at the airport, etc. It was a disaster. We made the best of it and watched movies, cleaned the house (ha ha ha .. yeah right), got organized (again, ha ha) and pretty much ate every ounce of food we had in the house. I finally got out on Tuesday for a quick trip to the store, only to find out they were out of EVERYTHING and closing at 4:00 (it was 2:30). Didn't matter b/c I was only going to pick up my girlfriend Little Debbie and her friends Chips and Salsa. I was the ONLY woman in the entire store. My husband was in PA, but since the storm was moving that way, he was able to get out and get home by Wed morning.

So the kids have been out of school for a week and they are out on Monday MLK holiday. AWESOME! I finally made it back to work today on a reduced schedule but we are business as usual tomorrow. I couldn't be happier. This working mom LOVES being a working mom. Yes, the roads were ridiculous, and everything the weatherman said they would be. Took me over 1 1/2 hrs to go 35 miles ... but I made it safe and sound!

It is all supposed to melt tomorrow and start getting back to normal! Thank goodness and yes, I know if it ever calls for the same weather again, we'll still be just as unprepared!

Wild Child turns 6!

Dear Wild Child:

Wow -- Mommy is late, late, late! I guess we were having too much fun in the SNOW! You turned 6 on a VERY cool day - 1/11/11. We spent the day cooped up inside because the entire city of Atlanta was pretty much shut down to snOMG2011, Snowpocalypse, Snomageddon, whatever you want to call it. We were able to make funfetti cupcakes and you were perfectly fine with that.

This is my all-time favorite picture of you and Pappy -- actually, probably one of my all time favorite pictures ever.



You have adapted SO well in all the changes Mommy and Daddy have thrown at you this year. You love our new home in Georgia, but still ask about Florida, specifically Jack (who you decided is your name sake and on occasion, will ask me to call you Jack), Brody (who you think is your step-brother and have told complete strangers and your teacher that you have a step-brother named Bwody), and if we are ever going to go back and visit your friends (that would be a YES!).


In the past year, you have become an AWESOME swimmer, with not one lesson. You learned to ride a bike, you learned to write your name and all your letters, can count to 100, and can beat every level on pretty much any xBox 360 game. You LOVE video games and while we tend to get SOME slack from people for letting you play them, it doesn't matter at all to us and you continue to be a loving, tender-hearted little boy.

You care deeply for people that you know are special to our family and have no qualms letting them know. You are so sweet to all the Moms in the neighborhood and always tell them you missed them, you love them, and the occasional "DID YOU MISS ME?"

You constantly have us cracking up! I have never met a funnier little boy than you - your facial expressions alone can get anyone laughing. I love your 'speech impediment' and that you still can't say your 'r's correctly. I know it's going to correct itself one day, but don't worry, I have LOTS of video.

Speaking of video, you are quite the mover and shaker and are always willing to put on a show if we're filming! You definitely got Daddy's dance moves (and maybe a little bit of Mommy's - what can I say, we both like to dance).

Your teachers love you. You are mastering kindergarten beautifully and LOVE going to school! It amazes me how quickly you pick up things. You LOVE going to church and that pleases us so much.

I can't wait to see what the next year brings for you! Daddy and I love you more than you will ever know and are so lucky we were chosen to be YOUR parents. I hope you keep your red hair - it fits you so well .. and the freckles .. you are our own red-headed Dennis the Menace for sure!

Happy Birthday to you!! Can't wait for laser tag and bumper cars in a couple weeks! Going to be lots of fun!!