Tuesday, March 25, 2008

WHAT was I thinking? A product review ....


Last Thursday night, Cameron accidently head butted me. My tooth went through my top lip and it hurt like crazy. I actually cried a little -- not like a raging maniac, but like an 'OH crap, that really freaking hurt'. By Friday ~ yes, GOOD FRIDAY ~ I had an ulcer the size of California right on the inside of my lip (where your incisor is). It was a little swollen but not bothering me too much. By mid-day, it was REALLY bothering me. I went to church that night, sang and fellowshipped with my friends and tried to ignore the THROBBING pain I was experiencing. I sang ALL weekend long, ignoring the fact that every time I opened my mouth, my tooth was rubbing against this 'mouth irritation' and making it worse. By Easter afternoon, it was as big as California AND Washington put together. We had a nice afternoon at our friends house, although I was avoiding most things salty. I FINALLY bought some Zilactin-D (after making 4 stops to find it). This, my friends, is a miracle ointment that causes 'minor irritation' to heal in 3-5 days and has IMMEDIATE pain relief - WHATEVER - the active ingredient in it is 20% benzocaine!! I nearly went through my sunroof after I applied it (yes, I'm one of those freaks that rips the cap off with their teeth and can't wait because I was in so much pain). Anyway, yes, there is a point to this story ..... my friend Shawn told me about this stuff 'Canker Cover' that she bought for her daughter. There was a little 'discomfort' when it was applied, but it creates a gel-like patch on the sore for 8-12 hrs and in most cases, can completely heal the sore in 1 treatment. I thought to myself , SURE, I'll try it - the Zilactin has to be reapplyed every 2 hrs and feels like I'm pouring pure alchohol on to the spot, so I can deal with a little 'gel like' patch action.

So I saw her today and she gave me the rest of the box. Being the patient person that I am, I waited until she drove away to rip open the box and put this little gem on my sore - RIGHT THERE IN THE PARKING LOT. Now, I am a VAIN person, and I feel like everyone is just STARING at my sore. It did hurt -- like HELL! I'm telling you, my toes curled. Here is the description of what it does from their website:

- Immediate Pain Relief
- Protects the sore - stops pain from food, drink and irritants
- Sticks to any canker sore and becomes a clear gel patch
- Stays on comfortably for 8 to 12 hours, then dissolves
- Won't come off while eating
- Freshens breath
- A single patch fully treats most canker sores
- Contents treat 4-6 canker sores

Canker Cover is a tablet-like patch made from edible ingredients. It sticks to any canker sore within seconds, and then forms a clear, gel patch that lasts 8 - 12 hours. The patch protects the sore from irritants - food, drink, braces, etc., and releases healing nutrients. A single patch will treat most canker sores.

This is what it looks like when it's first applied:

Ok, yes, I know. It's funny looking, but look how white my teeth look!? That white thing you see protruding from my mouth that looks like "Bubba Teeth" is the "Canker Cover". That joker attached immediately and WOULD not come off.

Here it is at 7:20 pm tonight ~ now, what in the WORLD am I going to do if this looks like this tomorrow??

(eeeewww, I need a brow lift!)

It keeps growing and growing and growing! It looks like a SLUG coming out of my mouth! I tried to eat dinner, but I was getting so grossed out. That is when I decided to go online and read about this canker cover (also after I tried to pour water on it and 'gently peel back to remove' -- yeah right -- the makers of this stuff must be in to pain because it felt like I was pulling off LAYERS of skin -- I decided to leave it b/c *hopefully* it will dissolve within the next 5 hrs) ~ anyway, it said that the gel like substance absorbs the fluid from the sore, effectively healing it within 1 day. SO WHERE DOES THE FLUID GO!?!?? BACK IN MY MOUTH!?? UGH! I think I threw up in my mouth -- NASTY!

So anyway, if this does happen to heal it within 1 day, then the pain and the abnormity of my appearance has been worth it. By the time it got this big, I was already home from work. I'll let ya'll know - but until then, know Chad is getting NO kisses, the kids are freaking because their mom looks like a FREAK (although Cameron keeps saying 'Ohh mommy, you gotta BIG ONE!') and I'm just resorting to taking Advil PM and going to bed!!

Until tomorrow .....

PS - It's ok to laugh at me .... I have been allll day!


Anonymous said...

oh my goodness...I'm laughing inappropriately...that's soooooo funny. I know you don't think so right now but trust me, we'll be laughing about this in two weeks when we're sipping drinks while floating in your pool!! Love you!

Erin said...

Miss VAIN I feel for you but, it is hilarious!!!!!!!! You are still beautiful with your patch work job. Remember I have a little rough houser also. Just be grateful he didn't knock a tooth out. No, you don't need a brow lift you are too young let the kids get older because you will get even more sags by then. You need to write a comic book. Love you

Holly said...

oh no! It looks like it hurts. I am not laughing......wait I am.

strotti said...

I know that your uncomfort was partially my fault but REALLY?????SERIOUSLY!!!! My challenged bladdar and I need to buy stock in Depends!

Only you sweetie...Only you!

Rachel said...

ok I need to know what happened here?!?! Can't just post and then not update {no cracks about my blog this is about you} AND at least your little man didn't head butt you on purpose like my crazy kid does. =)

Kim said...

That is one crunked up mouth!!!

okay - I'm still laughing - call me next time you need some advice on that stuff - what the hell were you thinking!!!

I bet you sooo learned your lesson!